Comfort

One thing I'm pretty sure most of you don't know about me is that I came pretty close to marrying somebody else before I met Russ. It was somebody I had known, loved, trusted, and admired for 6 years of my life. You can only imagine my excitement when we went from being "friends" to being "a couple". I was 24 years old. I had been home from my mission just over a year. I was only a few semesters away from getting my degree. The timing in my life was perfect. We began to speak of marriage more and more often. He began to speak to me more and more often about his own fears and reservations. You can only imagine the heartbreak I went through when he very abruptly ended things. At the end of the Summer of 2006 I returned to school with tear-filled eyes and a broken heart. I had two very brief phone conversations with him that Fall and after that he never spoke to me again-even the one time I saw him in person he would not speak to me. The heartbreak I felt was more than I could possibly bear. At that time more than any other I had to call upon the atonement of Christ to mend a horribly broken heart. I also cried all the time. One of the places I cried the most was in the temple. It was such a peaceful place, but all I could think about while I was there were the incredible blessings of the Sealing Ordinance that almost could have been mine. Then one day, while crying in the temple, I felt to read this scripture:

After this I beheld, and, lo, a great multitude, which no man could number, of all nations, and ^akindreds, and people, and tongues, stood before the throne, and before the Lamb, clothed with white robes, and ^bpalms in their hands; And cried with a loud voice, saying, Salvation to our God which sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb... And one of the elders answered, saying unto me, What are these which are arrayed in white robes? and whence came they? And I said unto him, Sir, thou knowest. And he said to me, These are they which came ^aout of great ^btribulation, and have^cwashed their robes, and made them ^dwhite in the ^eblood of the^fLamb. Therefore are they before the throne of God, and serve him day and night in his ^atemple: and he that ^bsitteth on the throne shall ^cdwell among them. They shall hunger no more, neither ^athirst any more; neither shall the ^bsun light on them, nor any heat. For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of ^awaters: and God shall wipe away all ^btears from their eyes.

And then I understood that as I was there serving in the temple, at that very moment, God was wiping the tears from my eyes. And God did deliver His promise. I did mary in the temple, to a worthy Elder in Israel, just as He promised I would. I vowed then that I would never doubt the Lord's promises again. I am sorry to say that I made a vow that I have not been able to keep. I am learning though, continually learning. In church today I was re-reading another scripture that I think will have as much of an impact on me as the one I just mentioned did:

And then shall that which is written come to pass: Sing, O^abarren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into ^bsinging, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child; for more are the children of the ^cdesolate than the children of the married wife, saith the Lord. Enlarge the place of thy tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains of thy habitations; spare not, lengthen thy cords and strengthen thy ^astakes; ... For the ^amountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but my ^bkindness shall not ^cdepart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee. O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted! Behold, I will lay thy ^astones with fair colors, and lay thy foundations with sapphires. And I will make thy windows of agates, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy borders of pleasant stones. And ^aall thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the ^bpeace of thy children...No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall revile against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the ^aservants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.

Now I know this scripture is really about the gathering of Israel, but it really speaks to me personally on so many levels. It tells me to sing or be happy in the situation I am in. It tells me that my work is to enlarge the stakes of Zion. It tells me that the comfortless and afflicted will have treasures given to them. It tells me that, yes, there are more unwed women who have children than those that the married wife has, but MY children will be taught of the Lord and have great peace. It tells me that no weapon (and I take this to mean the evil and conspiring works of men, not just physical weapons) formed against me will prosper. It tells me that this is my HERITAGE as a servant of the Lord. However, my favorite message from this scripture is that the Lord doesn't rebuke us for feeling afflicted or not comforted. He simply lays out what our blessings are and acknowledges our pain. And isn't that what He's always done? Isn't that what he did with Lazarus' sisters only moments before he raised Lazarus from the dead? He wept with them. And then, in His own very special way, and with healing in His wings, He wiped the tears from their eyes.