My grown-up Christmas list

I made a list for Russ of what I want for Christmas.  This is what it consists of:

-a rolling pin
-Christmas themed cookie cutters
-a good haircut
-a nice pair of work shoes
-pony tail holders
-flower hair clips


One of my mission companions once said that you know you're a grown-up when you start asking for what you need as gifts instead of what you want.  I guess I don't really need Christmas themed cookie cutters or flower hair clips, but I had to chuckle that I have a haircut on my list.

After I showed Russ my list he told me his:

-children in our home
-a wife who's not so tired
-a better job

Melt my heart.  I married such a wonderful guy.  Here all my wishes were material things and he wishes only for the betterment of his family.  #1 will hopefully happen within the next few months as we pursue foster care.  #2 probably won't happen until I don't have to work anymore, but I'll sure make an effort to try and have more energy since it means so much to him.  #3 we are always hoping and praying for and with an upcoming job interview one can only hope for the best!  Maybe all our Christmas wishes will actually come true!

It DOES get easier

On my infertility board that I participate in a member asked a question as to weather or not it gets any easier.  7 out of 8 replied that it does not get any easier.  This surprised me.  While it is still extremely difficult it HAS gotten easier for me.  This was my reply:

I am with C_____ on this one. It HAS gotten easier for me. Not perfect, not painless, but easier. I don't spend the last 20 minutes of church crying in the bathroom anymore because I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't have kids. I no longer keep a tally of all the women I know who are pregnant. And I don't run to the store to grab a pregnancy test every time my period is late. And when I do take a pregnancy test and the answer comes out negative I no longer spend the whole day in tears. Every once-in-a-while I will have that same consuming feeling sadness and betrayal, but it's not ALL the time anymore. I try to avoid situations that would make me upset, and that helps. I feel like I am beginning to trust God again and allow Him to heal me. I am also looking foreword to other possibilities in my future; the prospect of becoming foster parents and maybe adopt; enjoying my cousin's little family that will be moving here soon; and finding joy again in the things that I used to do. I have heard that time heals all wounds and I truly believe that. The key for me is to allow myself to mourn when I need to and to be patient with myself.

But then I wondered, when the answer was an overwhelming "no" for almost everybody else what made it such a definite "yes" for me?   I realized that it is my faith in Jesus Christ and my knowledge of the plan of salvation.  It hurts like heck that I may never be a mother in this life, but I KNOW that if Russ and I are faithful to our covenants then we WILL be parents in the life to come.  Last week I was listening to an interview on the Mormon Channel with Sister Julie B. Beck who is currently serving as the General Relief Society president.  The interviewer referenced a talk that Sister Beck gave in 2004 entitled "A Mother Heart" and asked Sister Beck what exactly is a "mother heart."  Sister Beck's reply was exactly what I needed to hear.  This is what she said:

A woman has that heart if she has a testimony of her identity as a daughter of God, that should she merit eternal life, and that life we all yearn for, then her title will be mother.  That will be the honorable name she will be called by.  No matter what her life experiences here in this life, a worthy woman will be a mother.  And that heart is developed with an understanding.  I think it's a Christ-like heart; having the attributes of Christ and having the kind of love and yearning for that eternal blessing.

I know this to be true.  The most hurtful part of infertility is not that I can't have children at this time; it's to see women who have children who don't appreciate what they have.  It's to see mother's who cry and whine about how miserable their life is and how difficult their children are.  Life is a challenge.  It was meant to be.  But I hope that those who have children can appreciate this blessing and have joy in it.  They have right now, in this life, that thing which all righteous women yearn for.  They carry at this time the most honorable role and title that one can possibly have.  They carry this title for a time.  But if I am true and faithful I will carry it for eternity.  Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?  Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword, or infertility?  Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.  For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

How to watch a scary show

After years of sitting on the edge of my seat and jumping at every noise while watching a scary show or move, I have finally figured out how to watch a scary scene without feeling frightened.

It is really very simple.  All you have to do is during the scary part replace the suspenseful music playing in the background with a happy upbeat song in your mind.  Here, let me show you what I mean:

First push play on this:

Now leave that playing while you watch this (you may want to turn the volume down on the first one a little bit):

And then all of a sudden it's not very scary at all-it's really actually quite funny!

Good things to come.

What a busy fall this has been for us!  Here's a little bit of what's been going on:

In September we attended a 3 hour orientation meeting.
In October we completed a 27 hour training course.
Also in October we completed a First Aid/CPR course.

Any ideas yet on what's happening?  I'll keep going...

In November we will be filling out a lot of paperwork.   We will also be very busy cleaning and organizing our second bedroom and putting all the things in there that we don't need into storage.  We will be purchasing outlet covers, untangling the cords on the blinds, locking up all our vitamins and medicine, and placing all cleaning supplies safely out-of-reach.

After all that we will have a special visit from a WA State employee.  Of course before that visit we still have to purchase two fire-escape ladders, age-appropriate toys for ages 0-17, a water proof mattress cover, and a crib that converts into a toddler bed complete with bedding.  

Have you figured it out yet?

We're going to be foster parents!!!!  We have decided to do foster to adopt knowing that the majority of the children that come into our home will not be able to be adopted, but will return to their birth families. We will be open to inviting children of all ages into our home (hence the twin sized bed plus the crib that converts into a toddler bed) but we feel that the best fit for us at this time would be elementary school-aged kids (6-11, give or take a couple of years!)

Can you see how excited we are?  A little nervous, a little apprehensive, but a LOT excited.  We have both been waiting a long time for this!

I'm not a prissy girl

I'm not a prissy girl.  I have never worn "real" high heels.  I didn't start wearing makeup until after I graduated from High School.  I love getting my hands dirty.  I love camping.  I live to be outside.

But I'm still a girl.  I hate lifting heavy things.  I try to make myself look nice (although I do need self-reminders sometimes).  I won't touch an insect or amphibian with my bare hands, no matter how cute or interesting I think it is.  I am easily won over by flowers.

I'm not a prissy girl, but I love who I am.    

Espanol

For the next 3 months I will be working at our satellite location.  I have had some very mixed feelings about this, but in the end I trust it is for the best.  I get to meet new people, and I have a new job to learn, and a LOT of work to do as this location is very understaffed.  One of the things I love most about my job (at both locations) is that I get to use my Spanish--everday!  When I left for my mission to Ecuador in 2003 I knew that I would have a wonderful and unique opportunity to learn fluent Spanish and I wanted to take advantage of that blessing to the best of my ability.  I prayed and asked Heavenly Father for the opportunity to use my Spanish skills to bless the lives of others for the rest of my life, but little did I know how much they would end up blessing my own life.  I always try my hardest to speak Spanish perfectly, but I know sometimes I mess up-using the feminine article for a word instead of the masculine one, or vice versa-as well as other similar errors.  I also know I speak with an accent-it is pretty much impossible to learn a new language as an adult and not speak with an accent.  (But I always figure that if I can speak Spanish as well as President Uchdorf speaks Engish then I'm in pretty good shape!)

Often my native Spanish-speaking coworkers will ask me if my dad is Mexican or if my parents speak Spanish (I think its funny that they always assume that my dad would be Latin-American and my mom would be white but that always seems to be how they imagine it).  I always feel flattered when they ask this!  If I can't speak perfectly at least they think I speak well enough to be a first generation American who grew up with a lot of Spanish at home!

Today I got the ultimate compliment.  A coworker just flat out asked (in Spanish of course)
"So, what part of Mexico are you from?"
WOW!!!!
"I'm not from Mexico.  What makes you think I'm from Mexico?"
"Because you speak Spanish so well.  They have white people in Mexico too."
"But I speak with an accent, don't I?'
"Yeah."
"A little bit, or a lot?"
"A lot."

Oh bummer.  Well, at least I was on cloud nine for a little while.  Other people have told me that I hardly speak with any accent of all. (Yes, I'm always trying to figure out how I sound to people when I talk.)  I do know that when I'm tired my Spanish gets worse.  I still feel flattered that he thought I was from Mexico, even if he thinks I talk with a heavy accent.  I just have to remember President Uchdorf!

Coral Bells

Usually I find Autumn to be a wonderful time of year.  Beautiful colors, changes in the air, crisp wind, and the return of rains.  This year I have to admit that I have NOT been looking forward to Autumn.  I already miss the warmth and smells of summer, the long days and sunlight.   I have not been looking forward to Autumn-until today.  We had a large order that I got to help assemble and part of it included large quantities of this plant:

Isn't she just beautiful!  Look at those gorgeous fall colors!  The picture really doesn't even come close to giving it justice.  Here's another one just to give you a better idea:

Her name is Huechera Sweet Tea, and if I had a yard she would be all over it!  

Oh, what is Huechera you ask?   Most people I know just call it Huechera, but a favorite song of mine that I would sing over and over again as a girl reveals its common name:

White Coral Bells 

upon a slender stalk
Lilies of the valley 

deck my garden walk.
Oh don't you wish 

that you could hear them ring?
That will happen only when the fairies sing

I will save you the trouble now of telling you what an awesome perennial plant I think Huechera is.  Did you know that it comes in just about every color (including green)?

And its a great plant to use in container gardens.

Oh sorry, I got a little distracted there.  Even though Heuchera comes in all those colors and can be used all year round the lovely colors of Huechera Sweet Tea gave me that extra longing I needed for all things Autumn.

I'm not even going to try to name this one

Sometimes I write a poem and then at a later date I write a poem in response to the first one. This was one of those cases. Poem I was written about three months before I even knew Russ existed. Poem II was written about 3 weeks after we "unofficially" got engaged.

Poem I --written 2-3-08

This old and withered flower with

faded petals falling beneath the

brush wonders if she

will ever produce seed to

bring her joy.

Poem II--written 8-31-08

Silly flower,

don't you know?

Wilting must occur

before new seeds can grow.

Its funny how when things are going well in our lives our perspective changes so drastically. The other day I was speaking with and old friend on the phone. She referred to a school trip (Pack Trials) we made to California just a few weeks before my graduation.

"Do you remember," she said "how on Pack Trials you thought you were never going to get married and you were scared about finding a job? And then you found a job right away and got married within 6 months."

She has such a valid point. This is so typical of me. I'm trying hard not to worry about the things that frighten me sometimes. And I feel really good about where we are right now. I wish we could just stop where we are and freeze time for awhile. Things are really good. I know that things are not perfect, but it feels so good to come out of where we were-I'm just basking in what we have right now and I don't want anything to change. I just want to stop here, with us at 29 and 34. I want to stop here, with this perfect late-summer weather. I want to stop here, with me working as an Assistant Grower in my field and doing something I enjoy, working with people I love. I want to stop here, living close to family and going on day-outings with our parents and feeling like a complete family for the first time since I-don't-know-when. I just want to stop here, with us living in this fun new apartment that is just the right size with a beautiful landscape and a trail in our backyard laced with delicious wild blackberries. I just want to stop here, anticipating the arrival of my cousin and his lovely wife and 3 little kids who will soon be moving nearby. I don't want to wait and see what things will come, whether good or bad, I am too fearful of that. I just want to stop here and stay for awhile, where things are not perfect, but good.

My my time flies...

This is a very quick and random thought: Today I was reflecting on how quickly time passes and how easily we can lose track of time-minutes, hours, months, and now I am even losing track of years. So I just want to say that I am grateful for seasons to help us keep track of time. If it weren't for that I would probably think I've been home from my mission about 4 years instead of six , been married just over one year instead of two and a half, been working in the temple for about seven months instead of fifteen, and I'd guess I'm 25 years old instead of almost 30. Its so funny how your perspective changes as you get older!

What to call this? Family history? Adventure mishaps? Or the feeling of home?

Russ and I have had so much fun these past two weekends! We normally work at the temple Saturday mornings, but since the temple was closed for cleaning we got to have a mini-vacation.

The weekend before last we had this great plan to visit the San Juan Islands. We can see these islands from the bay that borders our town, but Russ had never been. Since my parents only live about 30 minutes away from the ferry dock we decided to spend the night at their house on Friday, and then head to the ferry from there. Well, turns out that the Navy base was having an open house with airplanes on display celebrating 100 years of Naval Aviation. My dad invited us to go with him. I figured that would be fun and if we only spent about an hour or so at the Airplane Show (as I call it) we would still have plenty of time to go to the San Juan Islands.

On Saturday morning my dad cooked us breakfast. Have I ever mentioned that I have the best dad ever? We were a little late leaving for the

Airplane Show, but we still had plenty of time to go to both she show and the San Juan Islands.

The first thing we saw at the show were these cars.

Russ said "Wow, look at all those Dorloreans!"

I said "They look like the car on 'Back to the Future" (this is a typical Annajean comment, I am so pop-culturally illiterate that its not even funny!)

Russ and my dad then explained to me that the car they used on 'Back to the Future' WAS a Dolorean. Ooops.

As we continued on we saw some information about the plane my cousin will be flying when he gets his wings in just a few months.

We are so excited from him! Even more exciting is that he already has his orders to NAS Whidbey!!!! Not only will he be a 3rd generation Naval Officer but he will be the third generation Naval Officer to work at NAS Whidbey. We were bragging about him to everybody who cared, and being on a Navy Base EVERYBODY cared! It was so nice to have so many people share in our excitement! I LOVE that I grew up in a Navy town!

After that my dad spotted two of the planes his father flew in the Navy.

This one he trained in;

and this one he flew.

My dad also spotted the plane that he flew in the Navy, except it was the Marine version and painted a different color.

Here is a model we found later of the plane my dad flew with the right color and markings.

I had a plan that if we just circled around the airplanes and not doing anything else then we would still have time to visit the San Juan Islands. My eye kept drawing itself to a hanger though and I felt the urge to go in and look around just that hanger, but I didn't want to diverge from my plan.

Then my mom and Russ had to use the restroom, and the restrooms were right next to that hanger. So we went into the hanger, and I figured that would be okay since the other side came out near the entrance to the Airplane Show. As we entered the first thing we saw were a collection of quilts on display. I suddenly remembered something. Several months ago my Aunt Gina entered a quilting competition to commemorate Naval Service, and her quilt won 2nd place! It features photos of the three generations of Navy Aviators in our family; my grandfather, my father, and my cousin, and it is on tour throughout the country.

Upon remembering this I wondered if it would be there, and as soon as I glanced around I spotted it immediately! I announced to my family its presence and my dad (who is very quiet, shy, and soft spoken-until you start talking about politics that is) promptly turned a deep shade of red. After learning that the quilt had won 2nd place and would be on tour throughout the country my dads exact words were "I don't know about this, now my picture is going to be on tour throughout the country." And here it was practically in his own backyard! Even better yet, here it was a short walk from the building he goes to work in every day!

At this moment I knew we would NOT be going to the San Juan Islands that day. And I was completely okay with that.

As if all this wasn't enough, a reporter from the Whidbey Crosswinds was impressed by the presence of my dad with his picture on the quilt that featured 3 generations of Aviators, ALL of whom either had been or would be at NAS Whidbey and decided to include his story in an article she was writing about the quilts. Imagine how red my dad turned after that! I say this: Too bad dad, you deserve your moment of fame!

Here is the article if you would like to see it.

It was a great day. But that isn't even the end! After viewing the quilts my mom asked if I had ever seen my grandfather's name on a memorial in downtown Oak Harbor. This is a memorial that was constructed fairly recently and I had not seen it. My parents hadn't seen it either so we decided to go take a look.

It was such a humbling experience. We were standing in a park that I had spent time at before it was even a park. In front of blackberry bushes that I had grazed off of years before, staring down at my grandfather's name that was there because he had been in this town over 40 years before I was even born, before he even met my grandmother, across the street from the College I had attended for over a year, and no more than a mile and a half from my parent's home. My entire life I had felt unsure about calling Oak Harbor home. I was not born there. My parents were not born there. It always felt like home, but I never felt like I had any deep roots there. But then suddenly I realized that I DO have roots there. My grandfather will now have five members and three generations of his posterity living in the vicinity. I wonder if that ever crossed his mind back in 1945 when he stood upon those soils. And now I really can feel like this IS my home.

Even better yet, this park is walking distance from most of the Navy housing. There is a good chance that my cousin, his wife, and their three young children will live walking distance from this park. I am so excited for my cousin's kids, my grandfather's great-grandchildren, to come to this park and see the name of their ancestor. And after all-isn't that what life is really all about? (Malachi 4:6)

Oh, and P.S. We DID get to go to the San Juan Islands the next weekend. More about that next time!

Since May...really?

I can't believe I haven't posted since May. A lot has happened. I'll have to give the details later, but here are just a few hightlights:

1. We moved (not far, just to the next town over)

2. I worked my first 59 hour work week in my life (yup, the same week that I moved!) and actually survived...okay, there were a lot of tears involved, but I survived.

3. We got a new (to us) car. You do crazy things out of desperation. In the past three years my car has left me stranded on the side of the road three times and almost stranded two times. I currently drive 60 miles every day to get to work and back and every day I was getting nervous. Definitely more about this purchase later!

4. We went on an outing with my parents and saw a fun surprise! I can't give any details about this without spoiling it. You will just have to wait as this merits its own post.

5. Russ got to see the San Juan Islands for the first time. After a year and a half of not being able to take any trips whatsoever we are having more than our fair share of fun! Pictures to come!

For the men

Okay-so I'm pretty sure there aren't any men that follow my blog (my husband can't even seem to hold interest-blogging just isn't a "guy" thing) but I LOVE this song. I think every husband ought to make it his theme song. So this one's for the men...even though they don't know it...

And by the way-this is how I blog. I will not post anything for a month or two, and then I'll do a whole bunch of posts at once. Enjoy it while it lasts!

For the men

Okay-so I'm pretty sure there aren't any men that follow my blog (my husband can't even seem to hold interest-blogging just isn't a "guy" thing) but I LOVE this song. I think every husband ought to make it his theme song. So this one's for the men...even though they don't know it...

http://youtu.be/yLr6G8Xy5uc


And by the way-this is how I blog. I will not post anything for a month or two, and then I'll do a whole bunch of posts at once. Enjoy it while it lasts!

My 42 roommates

I recently commented on a friend's blog that I have had 42 roommates. It occurred to me that she may think I'm exaggerating, but I'm not. I have really had 42 roommates. I even remember all their names, except for one of them. And just to prove it to you here they are:

Set number 1 (First Semester at BYU-I):

Kristin

Christy

Cassie

Karla*

Andrea

Set number 2 (Second and Third Semesters at BYU-I):

Angela*

Stephanie

Charlotte

Charlene

(can't remember this one right now, but only because I'm having a brain freeze)*

Marilyn

Emily

Set number 3 (Missionary roommates and companions-by first name only to protect their identity):

Jenny*

Laura*

Carmen*

Aleyda*

Erin*

Lorna*

Wendy*

Stacy*

Yvette

Robin

Brittney*

Cara

Claudia

Set number 4 (SLC roomates, after the mish):

Brittney (different Brittney than the last set)

Tacy

Abbey

Set number 5 (Fourth, Fifth, and Sixth Semesters at BYU-I):

Darlene

Brooke*

Nina

Chong-Suk

Set number 6 (Summer internship in Oregon)

Angie

Brandy

Set number 7 (Seventh and Eighth Semesters at BYU-I):

Eliza*

Trisha

Melissa

Camille

Set number 8 (Kirkland set, after graduation):

Melissa (different Melissa than from the above set)

Courtney

Shayla

Kamie

(The * indicates I shared a bedroom with them.)

Some people have tried to argue with me that I can't count missionary companions as roommates. My response? Hello! Not only did I share a room with them, I was within sight and hearing distance from them 24-7 (except while in the bathroom/shower of course).

And here are some fun fact about my roommates:

0 of them I was friends with before we became roommates

1 of them was in my wedding

1 of them is currently engaged

2 of them had the name of Melissa

2 of them had the name of Brittney

2 of them influenced me to serve a mission

2 of them are not members of my faith

2 of them I have lost contact with and DESPERATELY want to reconnect

3 of them have blogs that I regularly follow

4 of them I ran into in unexpected places (one at the Salt Lake City institute, one at the distribution center in Canada, and 2 at the temple open house)

6 of them served missions, but not with me

6 of them speak English as a second language (some better than others)

7 of them have pursued post-graduate work

7 of them are citizens of a country different than my own

12 of them I have considered to be among my very best friends

13 of them have kids (that I know of)

14 of them are not married but would like to be

18 of them are fluent in a language other than English

19 of them served missions

22 of them are married (that I know of)

28 of them are college graduates (that I know of)

30 of them I am friends with on facebook

40 of them are members of my faith

42 of them I have cried with, laughed with, loved, or been angry at

42 of them have influenced me to become a better person

Comfort

One thing I'm pretty sure most of you don't know about me is that I came pretty close to marrying somebody else before I met Russ. It was somebody I had known, loved, trusted, and admired for 6 years of my life. You can only imagine my excitement when we went from being "friends" to being "a couple". I was 24 years old. I had been home from my mission just over a year. I was only a few semesters away from getting my degree. The timing in my life was perfect. We began to speak of marriage more and more often. He began to speak to me more and more often about his own fears and reservations. You can only imagine the heartbreak I went through when he very abruptly ended things. At the end of the Summer of 2006 I returned to school with tear-filled eyes and a broken heart. I had two very brief phone conversations with him that Fall and after that he never spoke to me again-even the one time I saw him in person he would not speak to me. The heartbreak I felt was more than I could possibly bear. At that time more than any other I had to call upon the atonement of Christ to mend a horribly broken heart. I also cried all the time. One of the places I cried the most was in the temple. It was such a peaceful place, but all I could think about while I was there were the incredible blessings of the Sealing Ordinance that almost could have been mine. Then one day, while crying in the temple, I felt to read this scripture:

After this I beheld, and, lo, a great multitude, which no man could number, of all nations, and ^akindreds, and people, and tongues, stood before the throne, and before the Lamb, clothed with white robes, and ^bpalms in their hands; And cried with a loud voice, saying, Salvation to our God which sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb... And one of the elders answered, saying unto me, What are these which are arrayed in white robes? and whence came they? And I said unto him, Sir, thou knowest. And he said to me, These are they which came ^aout of great ^btribulation, and have^cwashed their robes, and made them ^dwhite in the ^eblood of the^fLamb. Therefore are they before the throne of God, and serve him day and night in his ^atemple: and he that ^bsitteth on the throne shall ^cdwell among them. They shall hunger no more, neither ^athirst any more; neither shall the ^bsun light on them, nor any heat. For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of ^awaters: and God shall wipe away all ^btears from their eyes.

And then I understood that as I was there serving in the temple, at that very moment, God was wiping the tears from my eyes. And God did deliver His promise. I did mary in the temple, to a worthy Elder in Israel, just as He promised I would. I vowed then that I would never doubt the Lord's promises again. I am sorry to say that I made a vow that I have not been able to keep. I am learning though, continually learning. In church today I was re-reading another scripture that I think will have as much of an impact on me as the one I just mentioned did:

And then shall that which is written come to pass: Sing, O^abarren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into ^bsinging, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child; for more are the children of the ^cdesolate than the children of the married wife, saith the Lord. Enlarge the place of thy tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains of thy habitations; spare not, lengthen thy cords and strengthen thy ^astakes; ... For the ^amountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but my ^bkindness shall not ^cdepart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee. O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted! Behold, I will lay thy ^astones with fair colors, and lay thy foundations with sapphires. And I will make thy windows of agates, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy borders of pleasant stones. And ^aall thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the ^bpeace of thy children...No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall revile against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the ^aservants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.

Now I know this scripture is really about the gathering of Israel, but it really speaks to me personally on so many levels. It tells me to sing or be happy in the situation I am in. It tells me that my work is to enlarge the stakes of Zion. It tells me that the comfortless and afflicted will have treasures given to them. It tells me that, yes, there are more unwed women who have children than those that the married wife has, but MY children will be taught of the Lord and have great peace. It tells me that no weapon (and I take this to mean the evil and conspiring works of men, not just physical weapons) formed against me will prosper. It tells me that this is my HERITAGE as a servant of the Lord. However, my favorite message from this scripture is that the Lord doesn't rebuke us for feeling afflicted or not comforted. He simply lays out what our blessings are and acknowledges our pain. And isn't that what He's always done? Isn't that what he did with Lazarus' sisters only moments before he raised Lazarus from the dead? He wept with them. And then, in His own very special way, and with healing in His wings, He wiped the tears from their eyes.

A few thoughts on modesty

I am very much an advocate for modesty. I believe in modesty. I very much believe that our bodies are sacred temples and that we ought to treat them as such. This does not mean that we have to dress like nuns or uncomely. I believe that one of the ways we stand as witnesses of Christ is in how we dress and how our image portrays ourselves to others. How we dress also shows how we perceive ourselves. I saw the following video on a blog I follow. I thought it was enlightening on how we as women have a tremendous amount of power and how the way we dress has an effect on everybody around us.

That being said I now want to share with you what I think is hands-down the BEST discourse on modesty. It is from a fireside given at BYU-Idaho by Susan A. Bednar in September 2001. You can read it here.

I love womanhood. I feel like I'm just beginning to understand our profound influence on the world that we carry as women. I pray that each of us can live worthy of our responsibilities and that we can make choices to influence others for good.

The Song of Redeeming Love

"And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?...

And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?"

My heart is just so full of gratitude these past few days. Gratitude for EVERYTHING. For all my blessings, all that I have, and especially for He who rights all wrongs and the miraculous power of the atonement in every aspect of our lives.

Grrr...a rant about stupid people

A good friend of mine recently posted on facebook that she is expecting number four. Sure, the sting is always there whenever somebody I know is expecting, but this time it was just a little one. I know C__ is a great mom and is very deserving of this blessing in her life. I know her little one will be loved and cherished and taught important gospel principles. What really irks me was one of the comments somebody posted in response: "Yippee Congradulations... after having five kids four is the topping on the cake. Five is the one who smashes the cake."

The one who smashes the cake? Excuse me!? Well listen here lady: if you have so much contempt for your baby MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD ONE!!!!! How on earth is this baby supposed to grow up feeling loved and secure IF YOU CONTINUALLY REFER TO HER AS THE ONE WHO SMASHED YOUR FAMILY! Wow, just...wow. To say I am seething in anger would be an understatement. I want to walk up to this lady, punch her in the face, grab her baby, and take it home with me. Home to a home where this baby would be loved and cherished! She obviously doesn't want it anyway. In this woman's profile there is a picture of her husband, herself, and five children, the youngest a little girl who can't be more than six months old. The clincher too is that her profile says she's LDS. Not that I expect people of my faith to be perfect, but I at LEAST expect them to understand the importance of family and raising children in an environment of love, especially when they CHOSE to have such large families claiming this is the reason why.

...And that leads to yet another pet peeve of mine. Why do these LDS women stand up and proclaim the blessings and importance of families and children and then turn around and groan about how difficult it is to be a parent. Isn't that so hypocritical? They CHOSE to have more children. To all those women: maybe it's time you own up to your choice and be happy with all the blessings that encircle you instead of complain about them. There are plenty of women out there who would love to be in your shoes, and I am one of them.

Alright, that is the end of my rant now. Thanks for listening.

P.S. Don't you find it funny that she misspelled "congratulations" in her comment?

I haven't forgotten...

I haven't forgotten my Plant ID Series, or my blog. When I'm feeling a little more blog-able I will post some more...I promise!

Malus Domestica: The Common Apple

Botanical name: Malus domestica

Common na

m

me: The Comon Apple or Domesticated Apple

Family: Rosaceae

Subfamily: Pomoideae

Cold Hardiness Zone: 3-9 depending on variety

Height: 9-39 feet depending on variety

Potential pests and diseases: maggots, aphids, caterpillars, blight, apple scab fungus, cedar apple rust

Fruiting: apples fruit August-late October depending on the variety

Pollination: Apple trees must be cross-pollinated by another apple or crabapple variety planted nearby with a similar bloom-time. Go here fora chart on which varieties to plant as pollinators.

Pruning: Apple trees are tolerant of different pruning methods. During the first 2 years after planting the tree should be trained to it's desired shape. The best time for pruning is in the Winter when the tree is dormant. If the tree is grown as espalier then the best time for pruning is during the growing season to train the branches.

A fascinating thing about the apple tree is its incredibly large genome. According to Wikipedia a Golden Delicious apple tree has about 57,000 genes! Compare that to the human geno

me of about 30,000 genes. This is also the highest number of any plant genome to date. It kind of makes you re-think the phrase "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Yes, the apple may not fall far from the tree-but you can bet your bottom dollar that its offspring will be vastly different! This is such a wonderful way for this plant to ensure its survival against pests and diseases. (Did you see that extensive list up there of how many it is susceptible to?)

There is so much to be said on this remarkable plant! It has

played an important role in history and mythology. Its biology is amazing. Have you ever cut an apple in half crossways to see its 5-pointed star?

It's amazing. It is beauty, and art, and symmetry in nature at its finest. If you have not watched the documentary The Botany of Desire I encourage you to do so. It is available to watch online through Netflix. (It is also a book, which I have surprisingly not read yet.) I gives a fascinating history of the apple and how it came to be what we know it as today. You will neverlook at an apple the same way again!