I'm not even going to try to name this one

Sometimes I write a poem and then at a later date I write a poem in response to the first one. This was one of those cases. Poem I was written about three months before I even knew Russ existed. Poem II was written about 3 weeks after we "unofficially" got engaged.

Poem I --written 2-3-08

This old and withered flower with

faded petals falling beneath the

brush wonders if she

will ever produce seed to

bring her joy.

Poem II--written 8-31-08

Silly flower,

don't you know?

Wilting must occur

before new seeds can grow.

Its funny how when things are going well in our lives our perspective changes so drastically. The other day I was speaking with and old friend on the phone. She referred to a school trip (Pack Trials) we made to California just a few weeks before my graduation.

"Do you remember," she said "how on Pack Trials you thought you were never going to get married and you were scared about finding a job? And then you found a job right away and got married within 6 months."

She has such a valid point. This is so typical of me. I'm trying hard not to worry about the things that frighten me sometimes. And I feel really good about where we are right now. I wish we could just stop where we are and freeze time for awhile. Things are really good. I know that things are not perfect, but it feels so good to come out of where we were-I'm just basking in what we have right now and I don't want anything to change. I just want to stop here, with us at 29 and 34. I want to stop here, with this perfect late-summer weather. I want to stop here, with me working as an Assistant Grower in my field and doing something I enjoy, working with people I love. I want to stop here, living close to family and going on day-outings with our parents and feeling like a complete family for the first time since I-don't-know-when. I just want to stop here, with us living in this fun new apartment that is just the right size with a beautiful landscape and a trail in our backyard laced with delicious wild blackberries. I just want to stop here, anticipating the arrival of my cousin and his lovely wife and 3 little kids who will soon be moving nearby. I don't want to wait and see what things will come, whether good or bad, I am too fearful of that. I just want to stop here and stay for awhile, where things are not perfect, but good.