My Anniversary Week

One week from today is my anniversary. To commemorate I've decided to give my husband the 7 days of LOVE. Every day he will have an envelope to open and inside will be either a quote or an act of service. He doesn't know yet so I'm so excited for him to find his envelope waiting for him in the morning. Here is one of the quotes I found in my search:

"My heart to you is given: Oh, do give yours to me; We'll lock them up together, And throw away the key." -Frederick Saunders

Also here are some pictures from our wedding two years ago:

Why we need Christ(mas)

I love Christmas. I hate winter.

Winter is a difficult time of year for me. I get cold. I get sick. I feel surrounded by darkness (today for example we only have 9 hours of daylight). I could not make it through the winter without Christmas.

Life can be difficult. We face infirmities. We battle the elements. We live in a world of darkness. I could not make it through life without Christ.

While traveling through the darkness a colorful display of Christmas lights will give me the strength to move on.

While traveling through this life the light of Christ gives us the strength to move on.

While going through the endeavors of the day messages of peace and hope found in Christmas cards give me the courage to continue forward.

While going through the endeavors of life the messages of peace and hope from the scriptures give us the courage to continue forward.

When the winter seems bleak the carols of Christmas fill me with joy and thanksgiving, and remind me that life has a purpose.

When life seems bleak the hymns of Christ fill us with joy and thanksgiving and remind us of life's purpose.

As we give and receive gifts our hearts are filled with love and we feel joy.

As we serve others we experience the true love of Christ, and as we receive Christ's gift for us we will have a fullness of joy.

I could not make it through winter without Christmas.

We could not make it through life without Christ.

Sweet Love

Romantic Snow Globes by WiddlyTinks.com

The Family: A Proclamation to the world.

Even though there are only "two of us for now" we are still a family and I wanted to participate in this photo essay blog hop on The Proclamation to the family.

Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God ...

All human beings-male and female-are created in the image of God.

Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children.

Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.

If you would like to read the entire proclamation you may do so here.

It's tulip time...

for planting that is. It's no secret that tulips are one of my favorite flowers. They are so beautiful and they have such a fascinating history as well. Most people associate tulips with Holland. Actually tulips originated in central Asia. The Turks were the first to cultivate them. They actually weren't brought to Holland until the 17th Century. The rest is well...history. Of course there was the period of Tulip mania where it was not uncommon for a single tulip bulb to sell for as much as 1o times the salary of a skilled craftsman each year! That would be like a tulip bulb selling for $500,000 today!

Even though tulips don't cost that much anymore I sure do wish I could afford some to plant this fall, and these are some of my favorites (all photos are from dutchgardens.com):

Oh yes. I can definitely see myself as a tulip collector one day. Until then I will thoroughly enjoy the pictures!

Romans 8

It has been so easy in the trial I am now going through to lose faith and hope.

Has God forgotten me?

"The Spirit itself beareth ^awitness with our ^bspirit, that we are the ^cchildren of God: And if children, then heirs; ^aheirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we ^bsuffer with him, that we may be also glorified together. For I reckon that the ^asufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the ^bglory which shall be revealed ^cin us."

No.

I am not sure if this will ever really happen. Has hope been lost?

"For we are saved by ^ahope: but hope that is ^bseen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it."

No.

I pray for the desires of my heart to be answered and yet my womb remains empty.

Does He hear me? Will things work out?

"Likewise the Spirit also ^ahelpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should ^bpray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh ^cintercession for us with ^dgroanings which cannot be uttered. And he that ^asearcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh ^bintercession for the saints according to the will of God.And we know that all things work together for ^agood to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

Yes.

Will I pull through this? Will I be able to stand strong against these tides that threaten to pull me under?

"Who shall separate us from the ^alove of Christ? shall ^btribulation, or distress, or ^cpersecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are ^akilled all the day long; we are accounted as ^bsheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are ^amore than ^bconquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to ^aseparate us from the ^blove of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Yes.

And in the words of the scriptures I find strength. I cannot help but think of the words of this hymn:

Shall the youth of Zion falter
In defending truth and right?
While the enemy assaileth,
Shall we shrink or shun the fight? No!
True to the faith that our parents have cherished,
True to the truth for which martyrs have perished,
To God's command,
Soul, heart, and hand,
Faithful and true we will ever stand.

While we know the pow'rs of darkness
Seek to thwart the work of God,
Shall the children of the promise
Cease to grasp the iron rod? No!
True to the faith that our parents have cherished,
True to the truth for which martyrs have perished,
To God's command,
Soul, heart, and hand,
Faithful and true we will ever stand.

Fun visits with fun people

A friend of mine from the mission, Cara, came to visit this weekend. It was so much fun. I love her jovial charisma! I think I laughed more in the past 3 days than I have in the past 6 months! Her presence was just what I needed to lift my spirits. She also just returned from a summer in my beloved Ecuador and I loved hearing some first-hand news about that place, which is more special to me than words can describe. Here are some highlights of the weekend:

I took Cara to some sights on Whidbey Island where I grew up. We met my mom at Deception Pass State park for a picnic lunch and then we went to Fort Casey.

We went to the Vancouver, BC temple.

We got lost driving around trying to get to downtown Vancouver.

And of course we spent some time just hanging out and relaxing.

New background

So I'm totally diggin' my new blog background. I LOVE it. It is SO me. What do you think?

Broken

Broken

No glimpse of blood, for months on end

Yet no child in my womb to make this so

Hurting

The pain in my heart continues to grow

Yet in silence my tears flow alone

May

Seeing year after year how those of other’s have grown

This is the most painful time of year

Eyes

That cannot see my pain, my fear

Full of questions they dare not ask

Heart

Aching and broken, I do not fit the task

What makes them so much greater than I?

Lost

Hope is gone. I only ask “Why”?

And the only answer is that I am

Broken

Our Wedding

This week we will have completed 1 1/2 years of marriage! I thought posting our wedding video would be a good way to commemorate.

Enough.

I am exhausted. Tired. Worn out. It seems to be with us that when things start to get better life always takes a turn for the worse. What hurts is that when people make stupid, and rash decisions it has a direct effect on us. The decisions of one person who was having a bad day now set us back and I honestly don't know where we'll be tomorrow. I can't handle much more of this! We always seem to be the last ripple affected by those who make unwise choices. It's tempting to say we're just unlucky, or that maybe we're just not good people. The reality of the situation is that God is giving us a trial so that we can know for ourselves just how strong we are. And maybe perhaps also so that we can lift others in the future. I wish it would just be over. I wish I could venge this wrong-doing myself. But all I can do for now is grab on to the iron rod with both hands and "dig in".

My other blog

I have a confession. I started another blog. It details my journey's dealing with PCOS and infertility. If any of you dare to venture there you may. You can find it here. I do still plan on updating this blog about as often as I have been (which is really only once every month or two).

Finishing the task

I've been thinking lately about how many young adults I know who can't seem to finish the tasks they've started. Now don't get me wrong-everybody has that big project they started on months (or years) ago that they just can't seem to get around to completing. I'm talking about people who can't seem to get ahead in life because they seem to give up far too quickly on the tasks that will help them get ahead. I'm thinking of young men (more than one, mind you) who start going back to school and can't finish their classes. They end up being stuck in the same minimum wage jobs for the rest of their lives.

It makes me remember how many things I wanted to quit on when I was growing up, but my parents would never let me. It sure taught me how to stick things out through the end and never quit. My dad especially was the one who taught me this. As a girl I took ballet. At one point in time I didn't particularly like it. My dad told me he would transfer me to a new ballet studio and that after a year if I wasn't having fun then I wouldn't have to do it anymore. I enjoyed it better at the new studio, but it was tough. I was determined, however, to not give up. I took ballet until I went away to college.

There were so many things that would have been easier if I had just given up. But my parents taught me not to quit and to persevere. They also taught me to try again if at first I did not succeed. I believe that all successful people have learned this early on. I see far too many people stuck in a pattern of quitting and they end up stuck in the same rut over and over again. It makes me so sad that they will never reach their full potential as long as they remain on this path. I also believe that successful individuals who persevere and don't quit have had the influence of a traditional home with a mother who's primary focus is on her children (not her career) and a father who is involved in the lives and success of his children. I hope to have a home with all these traits when we have children of our own. I hope I can teach the children to believe in themselves and in their own potential and to keep trying when things get and to never give up.

Life is hard

I think everybody asks themselves this question, but I just have to say it now...why does life have to be so dang hard sometimes? Here is a music video I just found that I like a lot. It basically says that even when life gives you crap you just have to keep going.

Cosmeticize

Today's word of the day was so funny I just had to comment about it. Are you ready for this one? The word of the day is ....

cosmeticize

\kahz-MET-uh-syze\

verb

: to make (something unpleasant or ugly) superficially attractive

Wow. I could use that word a lot now that I know it. The thing is, even though I use cosmetics every day I would never use the term cosmeticize. Why? Because the definition defines it as making something attractive that's unpleasant or ugly. I don't believe anybody is ugly. I believe wearing makeup enhances the natural beauty you already have.

Excuse me now...I must go and cosmeticize.... or not.

Tender Mercies of the Lord

I am so grateful for the Lord's tender mercies in our lives. I have been so concerned about our financial situation. My husband lost his job at the end of October and has been unable to find sufficient employment. I had a job for the holiday's at a retail store but it ended last week. Tuesday we went to the temple and I began a special fast that we would be able to find employment. Yesterday I ended my fast and about 2 hours later I received a phone call from my holiday job. They were wondering if I could help them out for the next little bit with a permanent position probably opening up soon. What a blessing! I know that the Lord hears and answers our prayers. I know that even though times are hard right now there is great purpose in our struggles. Just when things start to look down we need to look up and we will know where to turn.

Some thoughts about blogging....

I love blogs. I love reading other people's blogs. Funny isn't it how something like the internet when you are literally at such a distance from other's can make you feel so connected? It's certainly an interesting phenomenon the 20th century brought. The problem with blogging is that you actually have to do it consistently, and I'm not sure I'm willing to be that consistent. I'm also not sure how much of myself I'm willing to put out there for complete strangers to see-I'm going to have to think about that one a little longer....