Broken

Broken

No glimpse of blood, for months on end

Yet no child in my womb to make this so

Hurting

The pain in my heart continues to grow

Yet in silence my tears flow alone

May

Seeing year after year how those of other’s have grown

This is the most painful time of year

Eyes

That cannot see my pain, my fear

Full of questions they dare not ask

Heart

Aching and broken, I do not fit the task

What makes them so much greater than I?

Lost

Hope is gone. I only ask “Why”?

And the only answer is that I am

Broken

Our Wedding

This week we will have completed 1 1/2 years of marriage! I thought posting our wedding video would be a good way to commemorate.

Enough.

I am exhausted. Tired. Worn out. It seems to be with us that when things start to get better life always takes a turn for the worse. What hurts is that when people make stupid, and rash decisions it has a direct effect on us. The decisions of one person who was having a bad day now set us back and I honestly don't know where we'll be tomorrow. I can't handle much more of this! We always seem to be the last ripple affected by those who make unwise choices. It's tempting to say we're just unlucky, or that maybe we're just not good people. The reality of the situation is that God is giving us a trial so that we can know for ourselves just how strong we are. And maybe perhaps also so that we can lift others in the future. I wish it would just be over. I wish I could venge this wrong-doing myself. But all I can do for now is grab on to the iron rod with both hands and "dig in".

My other blog

I have a confession. I started another blog. It details my journey's dealing with PCOS and infertility. If any of you dare to venture there you may. You can find it here. I do still plan on updating this blog about as often as I have been (which is really only once every month or two).

Finishing the task

I've been thinking lately about how many young adults I know who can't seem to finish the tasks they've started. Now don't get me wrong-everybody has that big project they started on months (or years) ago that they just can't seem to get around to completing. I'm talking about people who can't seem to get ahead in life because they seem to give up far too quickly on the tasks that will help them get ahead. I'm thinking of young men (more than one, mind you) who start going back to school and can't finish their classes. They end up being stuck in the same minimum wage jobs for the rest of their lives.

It makes me remember how many things I wanted to quit on when I was growing up, but my parents would never let me. It sure taught me how to stick things out through the end and never quit. My dad especially was the one who taught me this. As a girl I took ballet. At one point in time I didn't particularly like it. My dad told me he would transfer me to a new ballet studio and that after a year if I wasn't having fun then I wouldn't have to do it anymore. I enjoyed it better at the new studio, but it was tough. I was determined, however, to not give up. I took ballet until I went away to college.

There were so many things that would have been easier if I had just given up. But my parents taught me not to quit and to persevere. They also taught me to try again if at first I did not succeed. I believe that all successful people have learned this early on. I see far too many people stuck in a pattern of quitting and they end up stuck in the same rut over and over again. It makes me so sad that they will never reach their full potential as long as they remain on this path. I also believe that successful individuals who persevere and don't quit have had the influence of a traditional home with a mother who's primary focus is on her children (not her career) and a father who is involved in the lives and success of his children. I hope to have a home with all these traits when we have children of our own. I hope I can teach the children to believe in themselves and in their own potential and to keep trying when things get and to never give up.

Life is hard

I think everybody asks themselves this question, but I just have to say it now...why does life have to be so dang hard sometimes? Here is a music video I just found that I like a lot. It basically says that even when life gives you crap you just have to keep going.

Cosmeticize

Today's word of the day was so funny I just had to comment about it. Are you ready for this one? The word of the day is ....

cosmeticize

\kahz-MET-uh-syze\

verb

: to make (something unpleasant or ugly) superficially attractive

Wow. I could use that word a lot now that I know it. The thing is, even though I use cosmetics every day I would never use the term cosmeticize. Why? Because the definition defines it as making something attractive that's unpleasant or ugly. I don't believe anybody is ugly. I believe wearing makeup enhances the natural beauty you already have.

Excuse me now...I must go and cosmeticize.... or not.